Heyyyyyyy, Isaiah, buddy, how you doin' over there? Is that a new pair of jeans? They look great — hot wash, freshly distressed, with a lil' splat of wet paint to finish the job — I love it! But, uh, how's that fit working for you? Yeah, you seem an eensy bit irked, thwarted by your own thighs once again. Arghh!! *shakes fist at sky* It's OK though — I'm an excellent problem solver. Here, I've got this jug of baby oil I was just bringing over to my...friend's house. Do you want a squirt? Or, wait — I've also got a handy little sling and harness system in my bag that we can rig up to give your britches a boost! I'll just need you to help me detangle everything afterward. What's that? You're worried your neighbors will hear you grunting? Don't worry — I just found this ball gag in my back pocket! This is working out so perfectly. OK, I'm just gonna come behind you to get everything all set up. Ooh, and here's a blindfold you can use if the sun's getting in your eyes. What's that? Oh, no, this won't take long at all. I usually finish very fast.