Maximo's trying to pull off a yellow Speedo, but he seems to have encountered an ~unexpected bulge~.
This is Maximo. Once upon a time, he had eyes that could pierce your soul. He had abs of steel. He had a hypnotic smile, and the perfect goatee.
And now…. Maximo is a little old. Okay, okay: a lot old. That yellow Speedo from his youth doesn’t quiiiiite fit the same way. (Actually, Maximo, please never wear that in public again.) Yep, our friend is well past his prime — and trying desperately to get it back.
So he needs some help. He wants to know what you’d actually desire in a Latin lover. Could you help him out?
Crap!!!! Christian just dropped his phone!!! What's the damage? We don't know. The good news: Christian has been busy busting his ass on his bend-and-snap skills for situations such as this. Because it's just like that updated age-old adage says: "It's not how violently you drop your phone that counts — it's how fabulously you pick it back up." Actually, that doesn't really make sense. But we're going to stand by to assess Christian's technique nonetheless ;)
Why is Andrew so sad? Your guess is as good as ours. It has been pretty darn drizzly for the past few days. And Andrew's favorite lunch place did run out of his favorite quinoa salad *right* before he got up to the counter to place his order this afternoon. Oh yeah, and this is his last pair of clean underwear. So, in many ways, the cards are kind of stacked against him. But don't worry. We're busy over here furiously brainstorming new ways to cook quinoa and turn Andy's frown upside down. If you've got any good suggestions (or a spare pair of fresh briefs), please let us know!!!
Whether you wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, or you're more like our friend Kevin, one thing's for certain: Everybody's early A.M. routine is different. Some smash snooze, others are early to rise, while others hold a familiar pose, lying face-down-ass-up in the dark just waiting for what/whomever comes next. Regardless, how you go about your morning can actually reveal a lot about you. And today, it's going to teach us something very important...
Now, usually we're pretty militantly anti-Monday. It's without a doubt the worst day of the week, right?? But, lo and behold, today Andre came along to change our minds. Look at him strutting his studly way right into this week, chin up, shoulders back, and tits out, just like he was taught at finishing school. Yep, Andre is the inspo we so desperately needed to get through the day. Bless him.
What. A. Week. But we made it, y'all! And now Shane's just taking a moment to come up here, decompress, clear his mind, and zen out a bit before plunging into the weekend ahead. Don't you want to do the same? Yes, let's take to the rooftops and revel briefly in sweet reverie! And maybe, if you're lucky, you'll get a view as(s) nice as Shane's ;)
Oh no — it looks like Mariano's got something stuck in his right socket! Or he's just rubbing in the eye drops he just applied? That's odd though, seeing as Mariano's allergies usually don't kick in until late May 🤔 Wait a second... *checks watch* *checks calendar* Ohhhhhhh. Nice. Okay, yeah, this explains why everyone's been so chill and giggly around the office today. Here's hoping you're having a very, very happy day as well!