'Tis the night/day before Christmas, and Jonathan really need to adjust his, um, stockings...
BuzzFeed Dude A Day
Hi, John

'Twas the night before Christmas and the house was a mess;
Jonathan was in a half state of undress;
He couldn't find pants to contain throbbing glee;
As he flitted about, decorating the tree.
He put on baubles, on tinsel, and lights that were tangled;
On snowflakes and angels and a star (quite newfangled);
He arranged two new stockings, hung just so with care;
(They sure ain't the only hung things that are there!)
His eyes how they sparkled, his dimples how merry!
You could see on his cakes that you'd bite like a cherry.
His hair was all tousled as he jumped into bed —
His skin smelled just faintly like fresh gingerbread.
And he wished you “Merry Christmas”; (as sweet as it sounded
Would now be a bad time to rhyme this with “pounded”?)
Yet before the holidays were to truly begin,
Jonathan had one last surprise to throw in…
And while I could go into details of positions reversed,
Instead I’ll just say, for now: yours in thirst...

Mat (@matwhi)

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