What is this spectacular beauty smeared all over Anthony's chest? Oh, wait — it might be paint.
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Chantar photography FTW

2016 is off to a pretty weird start for AnthonyHe woke up early on the morning of New Year's Day to find his whole body splattered with this spectacular art. At first he thought it was just a temporary paintjob like the ones he's gotten for Pride and Burning Man and Electric Daisy Carnival and his 10-year high school reunion, but, um, these things aren't coming off... Is this just another one of his idiotic, drunken mistakes? Or was he once again the unwitting victim of a talented vigilante tattoo artist? (WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO HIM?!) Regardless, Anthony just wants to get to the bottom of this: What the hell happened on New Year's Eve?

Here's hoping your weekend was a little more memorable than Anthony's.

Yours in thirst,
Lincoln (@marytodd_)

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