When developing your photos/nudes, it's important to have all your camera settings adjusted just right.
BuzzFeed Dude A Day
You're on candid camera!

Justin's got a crazy new idea that he thinks just might actually work: hard-copy nudes. It all started today during his standard early-morning Snap tap hour. Lying in bed, sipping his coffee and perusing the hundreds of hot pics that had poured into his phone overnight, Justin came upon something truly spectacular: a breathtakingly well-composed dick pic. (Rare, I know.) But, faster than Justin could squeal "me likey," the engorged gargantuan had gone. Justin gasped. He cried out. He clawed at his screen. All to no avail — Justin's dreamy disco stick had already been banished to the Cloud. And so Justin tumbled out of bed and onto his knees, wailing, "O! Fleeting phallus, why do you taunt me so? Woe are mine eager eyes and sweaty, slipping digits that let you flee forth on the wind so soon! Such throbbing anguish ne'er have I felt before. Curse ye, my precious passing peen — curse ye to hell!"

But in that moment, the idea was born: unlosable nudes. Nudes you'd be given to have and to hold from this day forward on into perpe-nudity. It was brilliant, necessary, and bold, pushing against the tide of too many terabytes of disposable dicks and tits. Justin wanted something that would last. So he's starting with a test set of Polaroids. And, man, do they look good.

Yours in thirst,
Lincoln (@marytodd_)

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