People are getting all hot 'n' bothered about this studly swimmer — but has it gone too far??
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Gotdamn. Who knew the Road to Rio would be paved in so many supple swimmer’s bodies? Today, let us introduce you to the first of many aquatic hotties in this, the thirstiest-ever 31st Olympiad: China’s Ning Zetao. At just 23 years of age, the 6’3”, 180lb power-paddler has already captured the hearts and loins of a nation: his social media accounts runneth over with adoration and, um, other stuff...
“How much for tuition a month? I want to enroll.”
“Move aside, I want to be the goggles that are inside his mouth!!”
“Your height is really suitable for putting up shower curtains. My shower curtains have fallen down and I can’t reach — can you come help me?”
Omg control yourselves, people! This is obscene!! Ning is not yours to just objectify as you please!!! At least save it ’til he’s actually competed in his events (50- and 100-meter freestyle, because we know you were wondering).
In conclusion, Ning Zetao? More like Ning Ze-wow. Yeah, this is one dapper dreamboat we’d be more than happy to take a ride on. 🚤💦