A word to the wise: If you're looking to invest in a new sling, for your own safety, please make sure it's a sturdy one. We're talkin' neoprene, leather, heavy rubber, or, like, chain mail, y'all — none of this flimsy-ass corded yarn business like the one that so violently betrayed sweet Eric recently. See, one minute he was just hanging out with some of his closest friends, enjoying the full, uh, range of motion that such a sling allows, when suddenly his left cheek came crashing through a tear in the fabric, plummeting dangerously close to the jagged rocks below. Luckily, everyone made it out unscathed, but the whole fiasco has left Eric feeling rather shaken. For now, he's sitting here just counting his blessings, figuring out how to spread the word about shoddy hammocks. Because we don't care whether you're using it for work, play, parties, or pleasure — a sling is meant to support you through thick and thin (and then some). So, please, if you're backing your ass up into a sling this season, do make sure that you do so safely.