Come one, come all, and welcome to BuzzFeed's 12 Dudes of Xmas! You may have had advent calendars and paper Christmas countdown chains in the past, but this year, why not let a bunch of hot dudes do all the work? They'll make counting down these last dozen days easier (on the eyes) than ever before. First up, M'Baye, who's prepared some popping corn and a short song:
Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful.
And since we've no place to go,
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
Oh, it doesn't show signs of stopping,
And I've brought some corn for popping.
The lights are turned way down low,
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it— wait a second...
What's going on here, M'Baye? The snow and the fire and the rhymes make sense. But what about the blanket, the boxers, the freshly popped popcorn, and that sly-ass smirk — what does any of that have to do with Christmas? At least throw some ribbon or a Santa hat into the mix. It's not that hard...
Hold up. What's that thing tucked inside your boxer shorts? Oh god, M'Baye, it's right there: 9 inches. Stiff. Smooth. Girthy. Plastic. You thought we wouldn't notice? You can't just lure us in with popcorn and poetry, then whip out the TV remote and turn this into some Netflix and Chill bullshit! It's, like, 12 days 'til Christmas — have some manners.
Although, um, this popcorn is actually pretty damn good. Ugh, fine. Maybe we could just start a movie...
Yours in thirst,
Dude A Day
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