As the aspiring new hire, and you'll do anything for this job. Even get down on your hands and...
BuzzFeed Dude A Day

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“You must be here for the position,” is the first thing he says  to you. All you can hear is the way his mouth perfectly forms the word “position.” Which position does he mean? There are so many to choose from. “My last PA left abruptly, so I’ve been looking to fill this role for a while now.” You didn’t quite catch that last bit. Did he say “fill that...”— surely he didn’t. You clarify. “Role. It’s important I’m supported at all times,” he tells you. He looks pretty supported in those jocks, you think to yourself. “I’m sorry for the way I’m dressed, I just finished at the gym. There’s nothing better than a good, hard workout, don’t you think?” he whispers. Did he whisper? Or is he speaking normally? You can’t quite tell. What’s happening to you? Your eyes slowly make their way down his torso, resting on the perfect V his body makes, leading you directly to his— what? He just said something. You missed it. What the hell did he say. Did he just call for security? No, no. He just asked you to follow him into the living room. The place is spotless, you don’t even want to touch anything for fear of messing something up. “Don’t worry, I like to keep things in order. You won’t be on your hands and knees for long.” Is he doing this on purpose? Are you sweating? You’re definitely sweating. Is he sweating? No, he’s glistening. His dark eyes are full of the fire of a thousand burning loins. What's he looking at down there? Doesn't matter. Look at him. You realize you’ve been staring for a long time. A super long time. Awkwardly long. Say 'long' again. “Are you OK?” he asks. You laugh. Keep laughing. Laughing is sexy. OK, now you’re cackling. Cackling isn’t sexy. He licks his lips — they’re dry. You wonder what his chapstick smells like. What? That’s weird. Think of something else. Think about you being his chapstick. No, that’s insane. Just think about the job at hand. The handjo— no, not that. He’s about to speak again. Just three words, three words that will change everything: “Shall we begin?”

Yours in thirst,
Mat (@matwhi)


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