Cayson doesn't know how to ask for help, but he (and his butt) desperately need it. Yes, really.
BuzzFeed Dude A Day
Photo by SpeedoPhotos!

Cayson is a man of few words. Some would say too few. Like, chances are, he's been standing here eyeing you for the past five minutes, quivering in anxious silence, desperately racking his beautiful brain for the exact right thing to say to you. "Greetings?" Is that too formal? Dammit. What about "Top o' the morning to ya?" Yeah, you're right — weirdly aggressive. Ooh! How about just "Hey?" Nope, too pedestrian. Actually, maybe "HELP" is more appropriate — look how ruthlessly that speedo is constricting Cayson's tender tush! This is just not right. It's clearly two sizes too small, an egregious affront to decency and derrières everywhere. OK, Cayson, just stay right there. Don't say a word. We hear you loud and clear. Help is on the way.

Yours in thirst,
Lincoln (@marytodd_)

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