We're talking about a massage, people — calm down. Because Mike's glutes need some love.
BuzzFeed Dude A Day
Hello, Hard Cider!

Mike doesn't like surprises. Especially when they sneak up on him from behind. Kind of like what you're doing right now, actually... Rude! But Mike's also got a lot on his mind/butt recently, so it's actually not that big of a deal. See, he's had this weird, throbbing pain shooting through his glutes for the past few hours and doesn't know what to do. And because money (and other things) are kind of tight right now, it's been weeks since he's been able to get in for his regular massage! Would you mind helping him out? If you could just grab that bottle of oil on the table over there and lube Mike up, hopefully y'all will be able can get to the bottom of things. It's probably just a sore muscle, right? Yeah. When in doubt, rub one out.

Yours in thirst,
Dude A Day


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