Dude A Day: Please No

Nyle's trying his whole casual seduction/stretching thing again, but we're not falling for it.

Photo by Taylor Miller / @taylormillerphoto

Nice try, Nyle, but I'm not falling for this one again. Let me guess — you're getting back into running, but you forgot how sore it makes you and now you just need a casual part-time stretching partner, right? Uh huh, sure. Except we all know a calf massage is never just a calf massage.

Also, no offense, but this is really terrible timing. You've probably got tons of super trendy New York Fashion Week stuff to attend to, and I'm just trying to nail down a third date with the first promising guy I've met since Axl. (Remember Axl, the pastry chef from Pittsburgh? Yeah, he was awesome. Everything was awesome. But then you kept sending me all your "cum over n stretch me outttt" texts and he got weirded out and left.) So, yeah, I've learned my lesson with you, Nyle.

Although...your calves do look like they could use some love. I guess a little squeeze couldn't hurt?

Yours in thirst
Lincoln (@marytodd_)