An ode to one superhuman muscle 'gram. Because there's a lot to ~unpack~ here.
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OMG HI HENRY

Editor's note: It's been but 12 short days, 22 hours, and a handul of miserable minutes since Henry Cavill birthed this historic muscle 'gram into the world — and we're still not over it. So, today we celebrate the Man of Steel the only way we know how: with a well-deserved spurt of thirst. 💦



Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s the tent I’m pitching after seeing Henry Cavill’s Instagram! This Batman vers(atile) Superman star could ruin me faster than a speeding bullet. Please. I’d like to leap his ~tall building~ in a single bound if you know what I mean, and you definitely, DEFINITELY, know what I mean.

More powerful than a locomotive, and definitely more environmentally friendly to ride, Superman fights the unending battle for truth, justice, and the American way. And boy can he. I’d like to have Sex Luthor with this Kryptonian. There’s nothing small about this Smallvillian and that’s fine with me. Because after a weekend of showing my ~darkside of the moon~ to this Metropolis Marvel, he’d have me saying my name backwards. Not to sound like a Bizarr-ho or anything, but it’d be Doomsday for my behind.

So please, dear reader, just remember — my cause of death will forever be Henry Cavill’s instagram. What a super man indeed.

Yours in thirst,
Mat (@matwhi)


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