Dude A Day: Drop It Like It's

—wait, shit. Shit! Dammit. OK, everybody stay cool, but this is pretty heckin' bad.

Shit. Shart. Crappity drat dagnabbit! Did Anthony just drop his phone in the pool? Yes, he sure diddly darn did. Anybody got a spare bowl of rice out there? Fark. What else are you supposed to do in this situation? Does oatmeal work? Quinoa? Barley? Nope, Anthony just went gluten-free last week. Friiiiiick. OK, welp, while we help sweet Anthony deal with this heckin' hot wet mess of a disaster, can y'all just remember to keep your wits and phones about you this weekend? Pro tip: In life, as in the bedroom, you'll find that it helps to always keep a firm grip and plenty of waterproof casing on hand.

Yours in thirst,
Dude A Day