—wait, shit. Shit! Dammit. OK, everybody stay cool, but this is pretty heckin' bad.
BuzzFeed Dude A Day
Keep up the good work, Anthony!

Shit. Shart. Crappity drat dagnabbit! Did Anthony just drop his phone in the pool? Yes, he sure diddly darn did. Anybody got a spare bowl of rice out there? Fark. What else are you supposed to do in this situation? Does oatmeal work? Quinoa? Barley? Nope, Anthony just went gluten-free last week. Friiiiiick. OK, welp, while we help sweet Anthony deal with this heckin' hot wet mess of a disaster, can y'all just remember to keep your wits and phones about you this weekend? Pro tip: In life, as in the bedroom, you'll find that it helps to always keep a firm grip and plenty of waterproof casing on hand.

Yours in thirst,
Dude A Day

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