Forget Disneyland, y'all, because I've got the key to the real happiest place on Earth. Come along, now — follow me! Don't be scared. Just keep walking towards the light and slight eau de body odor and dirt... OK, good. *rips off towel* We're here! Yep, you're deep inside a professional soccer players' locker room and my, oh my, isn't it a beautiful thing to behold. This is where slutty mirror selfies are born, where achey butts get rubbed and filthy midfielders scrub themselves clean. You like? Good. Now just sit back, relax, and enjoy your stay. Because whether they topped the competition or got pounded into defeat, all these sweaty soccer players are just happy to have you.