Editor's note: Last night, BuzzFeed Executive Culture Editor Saeed Jones had a veritable come-to-Jesus moment over King of Dads Jeff Goldblum. Herewith are his collected revelations:
I would murder every single one of you for a night with Jeff Goldblum and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. Like, seriously, there is no reason why this man should still be this fine and yet. AND YET. He's 63 years old and aging better than a bottle of fine wine made from Angela Bassett's personal vineyard. He can give you the pipe, take you out to lunch with his AARP discount, then come home and serenade you with jazz. Yes, Jeff Goldblum has a JAZZ BAND, y'all. When I learned that, well, that's the day this gurl became a woman.
Mark my words: You're all going to have sex dreams about Jeff Goldblum tonight and for that I say, you are welcome.