Somebody once told Jase that "the world [was] gonna roll him" and "he [wasn't] the sharpest tool in the shed." And, today, he's really taking that all to heart. (Granted, it was his cousin and diehard Smash Mouth fan Kennedi-Anne who said those things in the first place, so she was probably just super stoned and shout-singing the lyrics to "All Star" at family dinner and didn't really mean anything by it, but that's all beside the point now.) Because, as an aspiring carpenter-cum-stripper (thanks for the inspo, Magic Mike!), Jase simply can't afford not to be his sharpest, tooliest self every single day. And that brings us to this skeevy-ass shed where Jase is taking stock of his wares and his life. As soon as he finds his tool belt and studfinder (and maybe a pair of jeans), Jase is setting out to dispell some common myths about the hardworking men and women in his field. First, while they may be talented at nailing, screwing, drilling, and reaming, carpenters will not always necessarily get you lathed. And, yes, carpenters may hammer harder and slide tongue to groove more smoothly than anybody else out there, but they don't actually come with wood in hand every single time. This is a hot and dangerous line of work — no matter how hard you try, you will get [sawdust] in your eyes, and splinters in places you'd never expect. Don't worry, though — Jase always wears protection. :safety glasses emoji:
Yours in thirst,
Lincoln (@marytodd_)
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