We’re all still mourning Jordan Spieth’s loss at the Masters this past weekend, but he’s still the champion of being a sexy little sugar plum — whether he’s wearing a green jacket or not. Seriously, it’s probably better if he just leaves it off anyway...nah what I mean? Sure, Daddy J. Spieth might’ve blown the Big One, but he’s still got those buttery baby blues that will make you roll right through the rough and into the sand pit where he can really ~drive it home~.
Not only is J. Spieth a monster on the range, but he also always does that adorable lil’ boyish booty shimmy before showing us his sweet stroke on the green. Now, it’s time for him to take us down to that back nine and show us how firm his grip really is, because everybody deserves a man who isn’t afraid to get his balls wet.
You’ll get ‘em next time, J. Spieth. Until then — we love you and yer perfect lil' booty shimmy.
Yours in thirst,
The PGA Tour Sicko (@kaelinphoebe)
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